OKAY! I'm feeling a little pissed at everyone in my family! I left Charles almost 3 weeks ago to decide what it was that I wanted. Well I thought & thought & thought about what I wanted & what I deserved. As well as being rushed by everyone in my family! Saying that is't not fair to keep Charles waiting. So what do I do. I tell him my desicion is let it be done. I've been burned to many times in the past thinking that someone is gonna change & I know this is my husband so it should be different but I cant believe it. So its done. NOW...I'm getting smug looks & comments from my family. Saying that I didnt try hard enough, which we did 3 other times. Say that I didnt take my vowels seriously cuz 'for better or worse' but I have. I think it's funny how people can say one thing but then turn around & say something totally different. My mother has ALWAYS told me that all she wants is for her children to be happy! Well it makes me feel like no body wants me happy. That they just want me to be with Charles becasue he's a nice guy..But just becasue he's a nice guy doesnt mean he makes me happy! I just feel like everyone around me is trying to push me back to him when it's not what I want! I just dont understand it. Why cant people just understand how I feel or where I'm coming from & leave it alone becasue it's my life & my desicion. They need to realize that it's not easy for me either. My marriage failed. & I'm sure it's my fault but I'm tired of hurting. I'm tired of crying & being unhappy! For a change I want to smile, laugh & wake happy about what I've done! I think I deserve to be happy just like everyone else. I didnt think a 21 yr old should be that unhappy! Guess everyone else thought differently. I just wish everyone could understand. But instead they wanna make me feel more like shit then I already do! Guess some things NEVER change...