I dont understand what is going on with my life anymore. I'm not happy so I leave Charles. I know I dont want to be with him but I also know that if I leave him that everyone in my family is gonna be pissed & or disappointed in me! I'm tired of being unhappy with something that my heart just isnt in anymore. But no one seems to understand is except my bestie.

Another thing I dont understand is what is wrong with my son! He has been so fussy lately that it's not funny. He's NEVER been this fussy before, not even when he was a baby! I dont know what's wrong with him. I'm sure he wonders where daddy is & I'm sure he knows somethings wrong but I cant go back just because of Dominic. I'm 21 & I'm not gonna be miserable the rest of my life. But he alwasy wants to be held which I dont mind doing, but he kills my back after a while. I think it's just becasue my mother has spoiled him & now just wants to be carried around. God I hate it. OH & we cant forget that damn squeal of his he does. OMG it drives me up the wall. At first I thought it was just a new noise he discovered but he does it ALOT. Now I think it's because he's been around Charles & I arguing so he does it to get attension. But my mom & I plus my dad & brother give him loads of attension. But I just dont understand.

Well all I know is I'm not happy with Charles & I dont care what anyone thinks or says. It's my life so keep your nose out of it. I'm not gonna stay & be unhappy. I dont deserve it! & I wont settle for it either. So thats it for now!